Trains, planes and automobiles… nah it’s not that exciting – One Step at A Time!

OMG, I’m off to London. This is the first journey I have made since I came back from holiday. Can’t say I’m looking forward to travelling. The journey’s just over 4 hours on the train, so I don’t have to worry about anything.  Just staying awake. My confidence is really shot at the moment.  I was able a couple of months ago to quite happily go on the train myself and do all my meetings in London.  Now?  Crickey, this feels like a major expedition. Only problem is I feel a bit frightened by it all.  By it all?  Eh? I’m not sure what that means or what I am frightened by but hey ho!

Anyways, my friend Helen is keeping me company and chatting so that’s keeping my mind busy. I think my worry is more along the lines of, will I have the energy to do this?  I’ve been sleeping so much that this is a big step.  I’m so grateful Helen offered to come with me because there is no way I would feel okay enough to do this on my own.

Helen wanted to help me get some answers because at the moment I still have no idea what caused the stroke. The doctors have done loads of tests and all the ECG’s and scans have come back clear.  I still have a blood test result to come back but that’s all.  It’s all so frustrating not knowing what has caused it because running through my head is, it may happen again.  Without warning.  Like the last one.

Hopefully we can get an idea from Dr. Eric Asher. Helen has known him for years.  He is a physician but also a homeopath.  I have already sent him a pile of family health background and my previous history so fingers crossed he can give me an idea of what caused the stroke.  I’ve always been open to alternative methods of medicine and healing.  Mum is, and a lot of things have helped her over the years.

Dinner out was the usual scenario I get at the moment. Things are okay and then I get a wave of exhaustion, followed by getting drenched in sweat and just wanting to sleep.  Oh and the, I can’t be bothered eating – which for anyone who knows me, is definitely not the norm.  I love my food.

My new ear plugs are helping a bit, so that’s good. I don’t feel as overloaded with noise. Okay so one thing works. I need to know what is making me struggle when I go out to a restaurant.  Mind you thinking about it, it is also in busy places.  I get the same when I take mum and Nan shopping.  By the end of the shopping I’m wiped out but then we go for lunch.  Maybe if I finished after the shopping and had a nap that might help.

Overloaded.

This is what my brain feels like when I go out in busy places!

The appointment:

Wow! That was a long appointment and very thorough. Dr. Eric asked me a huge amount of questions and checked a number of things including redness at the back of my arm, which he said is connected to circulation.  He took lots of bloods for tests but also talked to me about cholesterol and homocysteine levels.  My cholesterol was on the higher side of the recommended range but it was still in the range and yet I had been put on statins as a precaution after the stroke.  Dr. Eric explained about homocysteine levels are almost as important as cholesterol so best to get them checked.  Also for me to read a book called the H Factor.

He said he thought I may have an issue with my blood called, Antiphospholipid Syndrome, a sticky blood disorder where my blood clots more often which is why I may have had the stroke. He said it is more prevalent in younger people, especially women.  He said he will be able to tell by the blood results but given my family history on mum’s side with arthritis and dad having a heart attack also my brother having a stroke young then it may be something in the family.

I think that makes me feel a bit better. But I will have to find out about it first.

I’ve worked in social care all these years and we do what we can not to put labels on things or people, yet here I am looking for a label to hang my hat on. It’s almost as if having a label can give me a starting point to move on from or to get better from.  It’s not about changing my identity but an understanding of the cause to make sense of the effect.

Not sure if I’m making sense here or just making it more confusing for myself so am going to shut this off today.

Tomorrow is a new day