It’s all in my head…

That’s pretty much what I’ve been told today by a haematologist. I had my check-up appointment today with the haematology department at the local hospital. They have been keeping a close eye on my treatment and my own doctor consults with them when needed.  I saw a different specialist today.  Sometimes a good thing, different perspectives and all…

… and sometimes not.

He said to me that I shouldn’t be able to tell when my INR is low. The only way I should get any symptoms on warfarin is if I have a clot and I haven’t had a clot since I started on warfarin.

So when I posed the question about why I feel the difference when I take Fragmin on top of warfarin and don’t get the stomach pains, he laughed and said ‘I don’t know’. I asked him if he felt that it could be a placebo effect on my part every time I take Fragmin - he said it probably was.  I did explain that I understand the power of the placebo effect but said I still found it weird that it could make such a difference so quickly.  So he said he didn’t know, I would have to ‘prove him wrong’.  How the hell do I do that?  I’m not a doctor and I don’t have anything to prove. Prove him wrong!

So it’s all in my head …

That is so difficult to get my head around - pardon the pun! I have been learning NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and it teaches that our brain has the power to heal or destroy so I am a bit stuck in the middle on this one.  Yes, I agree a lot of this could be in my head.  But if that is so I should eventually be able to heal myself or manage myself without medical assistance and without drugs.  Now that sounds like something worth aiming for and what a journey it would be.

Yet, in the meantime, I know that when I am feeling rough that a Fragmin injection makes a big difference to how I feel. I know my own body well enough - it has been with me all my life! So surely I am the person best qualified to know when I’m in pain or not.

This is going to take a bit of working out.