Don’t Panic, Captain Mainwaring!!

Well the energy hasn’t come back yet, still sleeping most of the time. I’m surprised there is anything to write, I’m constantly in bed, ha!

Been back and forwards to docs, mainly panic attacks. It just seems like I can’t breathe, and my left chest is sore.  It’s not just tiring but it’s frightening.  I just think, well it’s happened before what if the big man (or woman) upstairs is going to take me this time.  He/she/they never took me the first time – what was it, a test? Or a warning?

So is this another stroke that I’m getting? It happened in seconds the last time so it could happen as quickly again. What if, what if…

Wow this is really messing my head. The doctors keep giving me D-dimer tests.  Apparently these venous blood tests help show if there is a blood clot.  They keep coming back negative.  So why am I feeling so rough?  I can imagine they are now thinking what a hypochondriac.

I still haven’t got my appetite back yet. When I was in hospital I only managed some toast in the morning and little bits of fruit. I just can’t face eating.  I’m probably not doing enough to need to eat much but it’s worse when I’m out.  Out for lunch.

It’s like being overwhelmed with everything and I just have to get out or pass out. The pain starts in my stomach, the sweat starts rolling down my face…then the panic sets in.  It’s almost like my senses being overloaded, the noise levels are excruciating. I can’t think never mind have a conversation.

Okay I’m going to get some ear plugs and see if that makes a difference.